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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022944">Ceremonials</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dia_dove/pseuds/dia_dove'>dia_dove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Banana Fish (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Blood and Gore, Decapitation, M/M, Murder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:29:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022944</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dia_dove/pseuds/dia_dove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why have all the pieces joined together to create such a cruel fate?"<br/>-Ichtys</p><p>A story of reincarnation and a fate worse than death.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ceremonials</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Commission fic!</p><p>Take note of the tags please! This fic is not one with a happy ending.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He thought he had him...He was there, right in front of him, just inches away from his face..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could he be so wrong…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why is he always so very wrong?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the beginning Eiji was certain there would be nothing that could tear him and Ash apart. Not after everything they’d been through. Not after all the pain and tears and blood. He thought that as he wrote that letter so many many moons ago. He thought that as he sat in the plane, hands clasped together in prayer that Ash would read it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even when Ash never showed. Even when Eiji was left with nothing more than memories and moments captured in photographs. He KNEW that Ash would return to him. He thought that even if their bodies were to rot away, their souls would always find each other. No matter how many years, no matter how many lifetimes. Ash would always find him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lifetime after lifetime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time it happened he can just barely recall. One moment he was waiting for his train, the next his mind was flooded with images of blond hair and green eyes. A familiar face that sung his name. Eiji chased the images, memories returning in bright flashes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ash!” He has gasped, catching the attention of a lone stranger on a platform, A stranger with golden hair and jade eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soulmate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every prayer he had made so long ago while crying into a pile of photos had been answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fate, however, was cruel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first Ash had been kind. A married man who humored a stranger on a train for an hour until he reached his stop and they said their goodbyes. Eiji waited everyday for that Ash on the same platform for years until his heart couldn’t wait any longer. That Ash hadn’t killed him but he certainly was the reason Eiji walked onto those tracks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second Ash was an actor. A man who ironically got his fame from starring in the most popular movie of the year, Banana Fish. Eiji’s memories returned during the midnight showing. A movie he was attending with his boyfriend at the time. Eiji drained his bank account just to sit in the same room as the second Ash. Always close but forever far away. Eiji tried to talk with him, to follow him to see if he remembered him. After all, that was THEIR story. That Ash had grimaced at him, pushing him away hard when Eiji tried to take his hand. Hard enough that Eiji fell backwards, tumbling down the stone steps of Ash’s home and cracking his skull against the concrete. Their eyes had only met a split second. But in that second he saw something. A flicker, A small ember of remembrance. His Ash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time after time. Lifetime after lifetime. It all kept happening the same. Eiji would remember. Ash would kill him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t get really bad until the eighth Ash. That Ash was...cruel. That Ash had listened, had smiled and cried and held Eiji like he did so very long ago. That Ash had taken him home as they reminisce about their life before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That Ash had been an even better actor than his predecessor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji remembers waking to searing pain and sore hips. A hand pressed firmly across his mouth to drown out the screams. Ash’s hips thrusting forward with such ferocity the bed frame had snapped beneath their weight.. And when it was over, and Eiji lied in a puddle of tears, that Ash had taken a pillow from the bedside and covered Eiji’s face with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji had fought like hell. He remembers the feeling of flesh peeling under his fingernails. The pressure against his chest where Ash was kneeling on top of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You crazy little bitch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those had been the last words he heard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With every lifetime the cycle continued. Each time Ash’s soul seemed farther and farther away. And each time Eiji’s heart sunk deeper and deeper into itself. Why couldn’t he have his As What sin had he committed to deserve this fate? Over and over and over with no end in sight. Until the good memories with Ash were overshadowed by blood and pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Across lifetimes Ash had butchered him. Stabbed, burned, gutted, choked, smothered, shot. He couldn’t count them all...He didn’t want to count them anymore. All he wanted was his Ash back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiji stares ahead, body limp in his chair. He’s exhausted, his body sore from the rope restraints around his wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ash has him bound to a chair in a room that looks like an unfinished basement. This wouldn’t be the first time but he certainly hopes it’s his last. It’s cold and the air is stale. A nasty place to die.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ash stands a few feet away, his back turned toward him as he fidgets with something on a metal tray.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji doesn’t bother trying to wiggle out of the restraints. He’s far too busy cursing at himself for being wrong again. He should have known. The only reason this Ash knew his name was because of his name tag. His stupid name tag from his stupid job. How easily he had called to him from across the bar. The way it sounded natural and effortless. As though they really truly knew each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The same trap, and Eiji fell right into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re awfully compliant.” Ash turns and raises his brow at Eiji’s stillness. “You’re not even gonna make me work for it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would be the point? To what end would struggling lead him?. This is not Ash. This is not his Ash. No matter how similar the body, the soul seemed to never be the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not Ash.” Eiji swallows the knot in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right. The prick you mentioned earlier when you were going mental.” He laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Eiji doesn’t have much venom in his voice. Instead it comes out dry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blond holds his hands up defensively. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just, not everyday you hear something like that.” He turns back towards what he was fidgeting with. “Hell I wasn’t even going to kill you honestly.  Figured you were just gonna be an easy lay. But with the way you were talking about fate and love and reincarnation I knew it would probably be better off for the rest of the world if I pulled that weed before it had a chance to spread.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji closes his eyes. He can hear the sound of metal clinking against metal. “So now you’re mocking me too? Can’t you just kill me and get it over with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clinking comes to a halt. Eiji opens his eyes to see Ash leaning in close to him, examining him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now this really is a first. No wonder ‘past me’ fell so hard. You really are interesting, Eiji.” He laughs. There is a knife in his hand. A hunting knife with a jagged back. He taps the point of the blade against Eiji’s nose. “You want to die? To what end? For that darling Ash of yours. To chase him.” With a flick of the wrist he turns the knife down toward Eiji’s cheek. He drags it slowly down. Letting it catch on his skin but never cutting. “I can’t say I blame you too much. Death can be so much sweeter sometimes. Even peaceful.” Eiji jumps as the cold knife touches the exposed skin of his chest. The reaction makes Ash smile. He puts just the slightest of pressure on the blade. He cuts there a single downward line separating the skin. It doesn’t hurt really. Like a papercut it burns more than anything. Still, Eiji grimaces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Death,” Ash continues. “ With death there isn’t any fear...any pain. You get to leave the weight of joy and sorrow alike down in that bed. That’s how death lifts away, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is a silence after that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Words so familiar sound filthy in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji leans back, barring his neck as the corners of his mouth pull up into an almost sinister smile. He laughs and laughs hard. The sound echoing through the room around the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ash is taken aback a moment. First with a look of confusion, then a look of...fear. Until that fear melts into excitement. No, more than that, it melts into absolute arousal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck. You’re insane.” The blonde fiddles with the knife in hand, dragging his thumb across the sharp edge. “Tell me, Eiji. In these worlds of yours, do I slit your throat?” Eiji feels cold metal against his skin. “Or do I use hands to squeeze the life right out of you?” There is an almost playful tone to his voice.”Maybe I’m more creative.” He drags the cold knife down the exposed skin of Eiji’s chest. “Perhaps I cut out your heart. Rip it out while it was still beating in my hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji’s smile never fades. “Yes. You did. You’ve even ripped out my insides and strung them around my neck once.” He can still remember that searing pain. How hot the blood was as it poured against his skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell can I top something like that?” Ash chuckles playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>EIji wants it to be over. “Shouldn’t stop you from trying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ash licks his lips, leaning close to Eiji, knife in hand. He brings the blade to his throat before grabbing a fistful of black hair. “Creativity isn’t really my style.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first cut of the blade is swift and shallow. Just breaking the skin enough to bleed. It hurts.  EIji wiggles in the chair at the sharp pain but Ash keeps him compliant, bringing the blade back against that same spot. He slices again and EIji screams. The metal is hot, searing, against reddened flesh. The next cut starts farther back. All the way back toward his ears, following that line already carved into his flesh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji’s body fights on reflex, trying to escape the pain. His skin feels raw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to make sure you feel it.” Ash says softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another cut. Right over the previous ones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to make sure that the release from pain is a powerful one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another cut, deeper than the last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji feels this one deep under his skin. He tastes a hint of copper on the back of his tongue. Hot tears prickle in the corner of his eyes. “End it.” He finally shouts, his body shaking with ferocity. “End it now!” The sooner this is over, the sooner he can move on. Ash is waiting for him. The real Ash is waiting for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next thing he feels is the sawing of the blade against his skin. The pain isn’t brief. It’s direct, it’s hot, it’s throbbing. Eiji can feel the blade ripping open his throat. He can feel every second of his flesh tearing inch by inch. He screams for but a moment, until the blood fills his mouth and he’s choking on his own cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More. More. Faster. Faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji ‘s eyes roll in the back of his head. The feeling in his body is fleeting now. His body gasps for air desperately, only to swallow back blood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ash’s grin grows. He saws furiously into flesh and bone, blood pouring across his hand and spurting onto his face.  He throws the knife to the floor before straddling Eiji and digging his hands into the mess. Eiji’s throat warms his finger. He can actually feel the pulse inside. He claws at it. Nails dig into meat and split apart muscle and vein alike. Whatever he can dig his hands into. There isn’t anything left to say now, only moments to watch. Eiji’s body twitches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes meet. One last second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiji sees it. That flicker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he sees nothing. Feels nothing. His body goes limp. His head, barely hanging to his body, falls back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash lets out a long breath. He’s soaked now, dyed red from the young man’s blood. He nearly falls on the slick floor when he stands. The cleanup was always the worst but that’s never been enough to stop him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles proudly at his work, grabbing at the boy’s hair once again and yanking hard. The head comes off with ease. He sets it on the nearby tray, propping it up so he can take a better look. The boy’s expression is...peaceful. Content. Hell he was begging for it so that shouldn’t come to a surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ash pushes the black hair out of his face. He was handsome, he supposes...almost cute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eiji, huh…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sudden pulse of pain in his own head makes him hiss. Behind his eyes, white lights burst. Something...someone forces its image before his eyes. Only in quick flashes. A man. A reporter? Ash’s world spin. He grabs the nearest surface to hold onto. The flashes. The memories keep coming. Brother. War. Dino. Gun. Friend. Kill. Fight. Hurt. Pain. Love. Eiji...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body stills...then collapses.. “Eiji...EIJI!” He cries into his blood stained hands. “Not again.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed(?) this!</p><p>Though this started as a commission, we liked the concept enough that there may be some additional one off chapters. (Possibly written by other authors as well! Still trying to figure out how I want to organize it!</p><p>Follow me on twitter!<br/>Twitter:<a>dia-dove</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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